Coworker Agitation: Practical Steps to De-escalate and Protect Yourself

An agitated coworker can make a shift feel unsafe and stressful. You don’t need to be a therapist to respond—small choices matter. This quick guide gives simple actions you can use right now: calming phrases, body language, when to step back, and when to involve HR or security.

Quick actions to calm the situation

First, slow your own voice and lower your tone. Speak clearly and in short sentences: “I hear you. Let’s take a moment.” Keep your hands visible and at your sides. Don’t cross your arms or point fingers. If possible, move to a neutral space—an open area or near other people—so the person doesn’t feel cornered.

Use validation, not agreement. Say things like: “That sounds frustrating” or “I get why you’re upset.” This doesn’t mean you take sides; it just shows you’re listening. Avoid arguing about facts or trying to fix everything right away. Focus on reducing heat, not solving the whole problem in the moment.

Concrete phrases and body language

Try short, calm lines: “I want to help. Can we sit for a minute?” “I think we should pause and talk when we’re both calmer.” “If you want, I can get HR/our manager to help.” Keep about an arm’s length distance. Turn your body slightly to the side—this is less confrontational than facing someone straight on.

If the coworker raises their voice or becomes aggressive, say: “I’m stepping away for a moment. We can talk later.” Then leave. Removing yourself is not rude; it’s safe. If you feel unsafe at any point—threats, throwing things, blocking exits—call security or emergency services right away.

Document what happened as soon as you can. Write the time, place, what was said, who saw it, and any steps you took. Clear notes make HR or managers act faster and protect you if the situation repeats.

When to involve others: if the agitation repeats, includes threats, or impacts work operations, tell your manager or HR. If the person shows signs of severe distress (self-harm talk, hallucinations, or severe disorientation), alert occupational health or emergency responders. You don’t need proof of intent—report behavior that makes you or others unsafe.

After the incident, follow up. Check in with coworkers who were there. Ask your manager what support is available—options might include mediation, temporary reassignment, or a safety plan. Suggest bringing in employee assistance programs (EAP) or mental health resources for the person if that option exists.

Preventive moves: set clear team norms about respectful communication, normalise pauses during tense talks, and encourage regular check-ins. Small habits—short breaks, clearer deadlines, and clearer role boundaries—cut down tension before it builds.

Handling coworker agitation is mostly about safety and respect. Keep calm, use short validating phrases, know when to step away, document what happened, and report when needed. You’ll keep yourself and your team safer while helping the situation settle faster.